PTEアカデミック エッセイ 79点 IELTS8 の解答例 1

The information revolution has transformed mass communications and has had both positive and negative effects on individual lives as well as society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Model Answer
There has been a serious discussion on whether telecommunication such as mobile phones have brought benefits to individuals and the society as a whole. From my own perspective, although it is possible to claim that mobile phones have become a huge distraction in our daily life, I believe that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
To begin with, there are numerous reasons why telecommunication can benefit individuals, but the obvious one lies in the fact that it makes the society works more efficiently and improve people’s everyday life effectively. Specifically, nowadays each individual owns their handheld devices such as mobile phones which allows communication between distant locations. For society, we no longer need to do business trip to just join a conference, since it can be done by international call which connects people in multiple locations. For individuals, mobile phones, as telecommunicating devices, give us access to all the information needed and more convenience. For example, we can locate friends in a large crowd and organize many events by just a phone call.
On the other hand, there are some people who have a different perspective, and they argue that the communication revolution has detrimental effects. It is obvious that we tend to over use this form of communication, and consequently, it causes some of us to be anti-social. Taking a friend of mine as an example, he usually stays online and rarely talks in person. Furthermore, more and more people care less about people around them because it is so addictive and forcing them to proceed continuous communication.
To conclude, although there are strong arguments from both sides, from the above mentioned, I am overall convinced that if it is used properly, it brings a positive outcome for both society and individuals that delivers many benefits.
(296 words)
簡単な文法しか使っていません。またIELTSで使われる難しい単語も使用していません。文法間違いもいくつかあります。それでも79点 (IELTS8.0)を取るには十分な解答です。
エッセイ構造はIELTS,TOEFLのエッセイと同様にIntroduction->Body 1+Body 2->Conclusion


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